It's Fall. Things are winding down. You may feel a little like winding down yourself and if not you, maybe your spouse does. In anticipation of spending some quality time with your spouse, let me make some suggestions about getting prepared.
Personally prepare yourself for snuggling. Ladies, why not buy you and your husband a pair of matching flannel pajamas? Pucker up. Don't overlook filling a basket by the couch with some breath mints, gum, and his favorite candy. Oh yeah, ladies remember to get a new flavored lip gloss. Men be nice to the ladies and shave in the evenings if necessary and don't forget your lip chap, too.
A change in the seasons brings with it an increase in dry skin, so invest in a rich moisturizing body lotion. Please remember to get a routine pedicure during the Fall and Winter months. On a tight budget? Take the $10 or $20 to the drugstore to purchase products for completing a do-it-yourself pedicure at home. While there pick up some hair bands and bobby pins to keep your hair neat while snuggling!
Time to move on the atmosphere for cuddling. No matter how many blankets or comforters you have, purchase a new "date night" cover up. You also need some lighting, such as night lights or candles. If you have a fireplace, it is time to call for an annual inspection, after which you can make a toasty fire. In my house, my husband is the "fire curator". I just give him reminders to pick up a load of firewood. If you have some docorating money in the budget, invest in some new throw pillows in soft fabrics. Also change out the thin draperies for a heavier material that will hold in the heat.
Now it's food time. What warming food will be a staple in your home this Fall? Chowders, soups, breads, butters, casseroles. Now is a great time to use your crockput, throw in some vegetables, seasonings, and a soup bone in the morning for a welcome dinner at night. Need help? Check out some online recipes.
Men love the smell of food cooking. You could also do some baking on the weekends and display your cakes, pies, and cookies on the counter in a new glass cake stand. Stock the pantry with hot chocolate, coffee, and teas. Now may be the time to remind your husband you would like a whistling tea kettle, coffe maker, or cappuccino machine.
Wives make a comfortable retreat for your husband this year. Husbands fuel her budget with a few extra spending dollares to make it happen!
Friday, September 18, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Football is for wives
How many women love football? Everyone can read this post, but if your spouse is right there, have him lean over and read this together, starting here:
Oh, how we spouses (women) love football season. Oh sorry - I meant that we women love watching our men during football season. I am not sure if either of those are correct or if both comments are wrong.
But what matters is that I want to see if I can help the men here to enjoy football season this year. Is that okay with you men? Aren't I a helpful concerned spouse? (Shhhh - ladies there may be something in this for you, if the men work with me here). Stay tuned and see if you can adapt.
Football causes some strange reactions in men, namely football causes men to focus. Ladies just know that okay? Sir, your lady, your wife, loves your brains. We women as a whole trust that you men know what's best for you during football, and if focus is best for you, we want you to focus on that one thing. The women want to help you focus, right ladies? Because focus is good. It keeps your brain sharp.
Well ladies have a translation component in place when it comes to watching and understanding football. Men, we think the same focus you use on the game is the same focus you will use in your marriage! Isn't that great!
So focus Men. Focus on how "bad" that quarterback is. Your wives want to hear you shout when that guy makes a touchdown. Practice, practice, practice. Go! Go! Go!
Men, that's the same reaction your wives will get from you for setting things in motion, right? And for knowing the right time to set up the play and execute things?You know like coordinating lunches for the kids, your doctor appointments, soccer practice, violin lessons, and shopping for groceries. And your wife makes the touch down because your team, your family, is winning, right?
Wives stand united that football is just a practice session for men to perfect cheers to their wives.
Men, I bet the wives won't even mind if you buy them a jersey. No, this is better...why not buy matching jerseys? Now you are on her team - because the jersey is for her! And when football season is over and you want to make up with your wife, why not drag out the football jersey, stand in front of her, and cheer her on like you are her greatest fan?
Ladies, if this cheering doesn't work, just think you have Football season next year for him to practice some more...darn.
Oh, how we spouses (women) love football season. Oh sorry - I meant that we women love watching our men during football season. I am not sure if either of those are correct or if both comments are wrong.
But what matters is that I want to see if I can help the men here to enjoy football season this year. Is that okay with you men? Aren't I a helpful concerned spouse? (Shhhh - ladies there may be something in this for you, if the men work with me here). Stay tuned and see if you can adapt.
Football causes some strange reactions in men, namely football causes men to focus. Ladies just know that okay? Sir, your lady, your wife, loves your brains. We women as a whole trust that you men know what's best for you during football, and if focus is best for you, we want you to focus on that one thing. The women want to help you focus, right ladies? Because focus is good. It keeps your brain sharp.
Well ladies have a translation component in place when it comes to watching and understanding football. Men, we think the same focus you use on the game is the same focus you will use in your marriage! Isn't that great!
So focus Men. Focus on how "bad" that quarterback is. Your wives want to hear you shout when that guy makes a touchdown. Practice, practice, practice. Go! Go! Go!
Men, that's the same reaction your wives will get from you for setting things in motion, right? And for knowing the right time to set up the play and execute things?You know like coordinating lunches for the kids, your doctor appointments, soccer practice, violin lessons, and shopping for groceries. And your wife makes the touch down because your team, your family, is winning, right?
Wives stand united that football is just a practice session for men to perfect cheers to their wives.
Men, I bet the wives won't even mind if you buy them a jersey. No, this is better...why not buy matching jerseys? Now you are on her team - because the jersey is for her! And when football season is over and you want to make up with your wife, why not drag out the football jersey, stand in front of her, and cheer her on like you are her greatest fan?
Ladies, if this cheering doesn't work, just think you have Football season next year for him to practice some more...darn.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Spousal Support
Spouses are of course independent thinkers and doers, who happen to be in a committed relationship with other independent thinkers and doers. It's no wonder marriage can be tough. "How do I get what I want?" (look to the right)..."Oh no, no, no, how do I get what I want?" (look to the left).
We get our wish list fulfilled from having both indirect support and direct support. Let me explain these in order. One of the unique by-products of being married is the amount of undefinable, underlying, and indirect support we get from our spouse. Support that equates to "growth". In this type of support, our spouse has filled in the blanks in our life. Their doing so contributes to our independence, self-esteem and courage as an individual. All the time spent together in late-night talks, comments, praises, smiles, and winks to and from each other is time spent building blocks of confidence. Indirect support is in my opinion what creates longevity in the marriage because the benefits are not always immediately visible.
The other type of support, direct support, is more visible. In direct support, the benefits can be immediate, or short-term. We perform direct support daily by helping our spouse at their request or when we see the need. For example, a wife nursing her husband back to health and helping him to and from his wheelchair is direct support. With direct support, spouses see and acknowledge the others supportive efforts.
Which support is better - indirect support or direct support? Neither. Both are important. But one spouse may provide indirect support and the other spouse provide the direct support. Without this understanding, couples may fight when it seems one is giving more support than the other. Does this sound like you? For whicever supporter you are, begin offering your spouse the opposite support.
Remember our opening questions? Hopefully, you will get what you want. But I also hope you and your spouse will appreciate each other's support.
We get our wish list fulfilled from having both indirect support and direct support. Let me explain these in order. One of the unique by-products of being married is the amount of undefinable, underlying, and indirect support we get from our spouse. Support that equates to "growth". In this type of support, our spouse has filled in the blanks in our life. Their doing so contributes to our independence, self-esteem and courage as an individual. All the time spent together in late-night talks, comments, praises, smiles, and winks to and from each other is time spent building blocks of confidence. Indirect support is in my opinion what creates longevity in the marriage because the benefits are not always immediately visible.
The other type of support, direct support, is more visible. In direct support, the benefits can be immediate, or short-term. We perform direct support daily by helping our spouse at their request or when we see the need. For example, a wife nursing her husband back to health and helping him to and from his wheelchair is direct support. With direct support, spouses see and acknowledge the others supportive efforts.
Which support is better - indirect support or direct support? Neither. Both are important. But one spouse may provide indirect support and the other spouse provide the direct support. Without this understanding, couples may fight when it seems one is giving more support than the other. Does this sound like you? For whicever supporter you are, begin offering your spouse the opposite support.
Remember our opening questions? Hopefully, you will get what you want. But I also hope you and your spouse will appreciate each other's support.
Monday, August 10, 2009
THE NEW COTTON IS SILK
Spouses, can we talk? The wives this time. My grandmother was a fan of cotton material. (Stay with me now as I paint a marriage solution for you). A long, long, time ago, my grandmother literally picked cotton. Cotton was the miracle fabric because it keep things cool. Most of us know that, right?
If you answered yes, then I would like you to mentally prepare an answer to my next question (if this next scenario pertains to you)...
If wives know cotton keeps you cool, how is it possible to make it a rule to wear cotton undergarments, while complaining that their love life with their spouse is say, "lukewarm"? Do you see the connection here? So how do you turn up the heat?
Let's begin by taking the seemingly rational approach. Get rid of the cool, cotton undergarments and switch to something "hot", like silk, satin, or nylon. Now this may be a real eye-opener for this first post of this blog - but I am here to tell you to please follow this blog as the comments only get better!!
One of my antecdotes for a "he's not interested in me anymore", is to switch your undergarments and your pajamas. Now don't be silly and just think you can throw out your underwear. There is a process to be followed. Check this out:
First, you must identify which underwear you'll toss. It is critical you do this in the presence of your spouse. And don't toss them out just yet because here's the most important part: your spouse needs to see you throw out the underwear. Be creative. Discard the older underwear on top of the trash without closing the bag; put the old undies in a pile outside by his work bench - "Honey, can we use these for shop rags?"; drop them next to his shoes in the closet.
When he sees the discarded cotton underwear, he knows they won't be coming back. Now his mind is racing wondering what will you be wearing. Or he's thinking what color and style of the new silkies will you be going to buy.
Let's talk about buying. Although you are going to buy your new silkies, it's very likely your spouse will be the one digging in his pocket to fund this whole new venture. And a venture it is. So enjoy it because chances are he's enjoying it already.
By the way, I know plenty of women who have experienced a positive change in their relationship by following this tip. This is truly a nugget of wisdom for you.
If you answered yes, then I would like you to mentally prepare an answer to my next question (if this next scenario pertains to you)...
If wives know cotton keeps you cool, how is it possible to make it a rule to wear cotton undergarments, while complaining that their love life with their spouse is say, "lukewarm"? Do you see the connection here? So how do you turn up the heat?
Let's begin by taking the seemingly rational approach. Get rid of the cool, cotton undergarments and switch to something "hot", like silk, satin, or nylon. Now this may be a real eye-opener for this first post of this blog - but I am here to tell you to please follow this blog as the comments only get better!!
One of my antecdotes for a "he's not interested in me anymore", is to switch your undergarments and your pajamas. Now don't be silly and just think you can throw out your underwear. There is a process to be followed. Check this out:
First, you must identify which underwear you'll toss. It is critical you do this in the presence of your spouse. And don't toss them out just yet because here's the most important part: your spouse needs to see you throw out the underwear. Be creative. Discard the older underwear on top of the trash without closing the bag; put the old undies in a pile outside by his work bench - "Honey, can we use these for shop rags?"; drop them next to his shoes in the closet.
When he sees the discarded cotton underwear, he knows they won't be coming back. Now his mind is racing wondering what will you be wearing. Or he's thinking what color and style of the new silkies will you be going to buy.
Let's talk about buying. Although you are going to buy your new silkies, it's very likely your spouse will be the one digging in his pocket to fund this whole new venture. And a venture it is. So enjoy it because chances are he's enjoying it already.
By the way, I know plenty of women who have experienced a positive change in their relationship by following this tip. This is truly a nugget of wisdom for you.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)